The Wedding Adventures: The Vows

This past weekend we met with our wedding officiant. She's lovely and it was very reassuring to know that first we won't be married by a stranger, and second that we'll be married by someone wonderfully sweet.

The greater challenge this past week was putting our ceremony vows together. For us, the wedding ceremony will be the most meaningful part of the wedding day and we wanted them to really reflect the two of us. I always envisioned our vows being deeply personal and intimate, so much so that I shied away from having a larger wedding for this reason. We chose to write our entire ceremony and we'll also be writing our vows to each other. We didn't write the ceremony from scratch of course. Instead we cobbled it together from various readings, poems and ceremony examples that I've been collecting over the last year whenever I came across something I liked. Since it was quite a bit of work to assemble the ceremony, I thought I'd share a few of my favourite readings for couples who are also writing their own ceremony. Some great resources I came across are over at A Practical Wedding and Offbeat Bride.

ps. the photo above is one of our finds from a street market in Seattle. We're going to use it to hold our rings.

From The Little Prince

"My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . ." 

 

From Still Life with Woodpecker 
by Tom Robbins

Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words “make” and “stay” become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.

 

To Have Without Holding

by Marge Piercy
Learning to love differently is hard,
love with the hands wide open, love
with the doors banging on their hinges,
the cupboard unlocked, the wind
roaring and whimpering in the rooms
rustling the sheets and snapping the blinds
that thwack like rubber bands
in an open palm.

It hurts to love wide open
stretching the muscles that feel
as if they are made of wet plaster,
then of blunt knives, then
of sharp knives.

It hurts to thwart the reflexes
of grab, of clutch; to love and let
go again and again. It pesters to remember
the lover who is not in the bed,
to hold back what is owed to the work
that gutters like a candle in a cave
without air, to love consciously,
conscientiously, concretely, constructively.

I can't do it, you say it's killing
me, but you thrive, you glow
on the street like a neon raspberry,
You float and sail, a helium balloon
bright bachelor's button blue and bobbing
on the cold and hot winds of our breath,
as we make and unmake in passionate
diastole and systole the rhythm
of our unbound bonding, to have
and not to hold, to love
with minimized malice, hunger
and anger moment by moment balanced.

 I like you 

By Sandol Stoddard Warburg

I like you
And I know why.
I like you because
You are a good person to like.

I like you because...
When I tell you something special
You know its special
And you remember it
A long, long time.

You say:
"Remember when you told me
Something special?"
And both of us remember.
When I think something is important,
You think its important too.

We have good ideas.
When I say something funny, you laugh.
I think I’m funny.
You think I’m funny too.

I like you because...
You know where I’m ticklish
And you don’t tickle me there
Except just a tiny bit.
Sometimes.
Stop!

But if you do, then I know where
To tickle you too.
You know how to be silly.
That’s why I like you.
Boy! Are you ever silly!
I never met anyone sillier than me
Till I met you.

I like you because...
You know when its time to stop
Being silly.

Maybe day after tomorrow.
Maybe never.
Oops! Too late!
Its quarter past silly.

We fool around the same way all the time.
Sometimes we don’t say a word.
We snurkle under fences,
We spy secret places.
If I’m a goofus on the roofus,
You are one too.

And I like you because when I am feeling sad, you don’t always cheer me up right away. Sometimes it is better to be sad.
You can’t stand others being
So googly and goggly
Every single moment.
You want to know about things...
It takes time.

I like you because...
If I am mad at you
Then you get mad at me too.
Its awful when the other person isn’t.
Phooey!
They are just so nice and so hoo, hoo,
You could just punch them in the nose.

I like you because...
When I think I’m going to throw up
You don’t pretend you’re busy
Looking at the birds and all that.
You say: "Maybe it was Something you ate".
You say: "That happened to me one time".
And the same thing did.

If you find two four-leaf clovers,
You give me one.
If I find four, I give you two.
If we find only three, we keep looking.
Sometimes we have good luck,
And sometimes we don’t.

If I break my arm and if you break your arm too,
Then it’s lots of fun to have a broken arm.
You tell me about mine
And I tell you about yours.
We both are sorry.
We write names and draw pictures.
We show everybody
And they wish
They had broken arms too.

I like you because....
- I don’t know why -
But -
Everything that happens is nicer with you.
I can’t remember when I didn’t like you.
It must have been lonesome then.

I like you because - because - because -
It’s the fourth of July
On the fifth of July.
And if you and I had some drums
And some horns and horses
And some fire engines,
we could be a holiday
we could be a celebration
We could be a whole parade.
See what I mean?

Even if it was the nine hundred and ninety ninth of July
Even if it was August
Even if it was way down at the bottom of November
Even if it was no place in particular in January
I would go on choosing you
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again
That’s how it would happen every time.
I don’t know why.

I guess I don’t know why I really like you.
Why do I like you???
I guess I like you...
I guess I really like you
BECAUSE I LIKE YOU.

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Portrait | Lindsay

I am beginning to discover a community of artists in Vancouver. Talented people who donate their time to create something beautiful. Lindsay, a promising young model, and I got together on a Tuesday night to shoot some portraits. Denise contributed her time to do hair & makeup. It was a casual shoot, nothing special. We  wandered around Gastown in downtown Vancouver and got to know each other. Most of it was shot on 1 single street. And yet, it was special- as it always is when working with artists with a genuine desire to create something together. It's sort of a gritty shoot but still full of natural beauty. Lindsay & Denise, thank you! 

Makeup/Hair: Makeup by Denise

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Beautiful shots are simple

Lots of women or couples I photograph are nervous. They worry about looking good, they worry about putting their hands in the right place, they worry about having a nice smile, about whether their outfits work. They worry because they don't spend a lot of time in front of the camera and modelling is not their day job.

The truth is that looking beautiful in photographs is simple. Beauty is not about how you look, it's about how you feel. Yes, we've heard this before but hear me out! For me, the most beautiful photographs are those that capture the genuine you, or a moment of connection between two people, or just pure unadultered joy. Beauty comes from that little light inside all of us. It comes from the things about us that are the same and the things that are different. Someone who feels comfortable to show themselves in front of the camera automatically takes beautiful photos. Admittedly, it's not always an easy thing to do and I work hard with my clients to ensure that they feel comfortable at all times. Sometimes that means doing something fun, or working with a prop for a while to feel less alone in front of the camera, sometimes it's about having a conversation to keep people's mind off of the fact that they're being photographed. I guess this is a bit of a public service announcement to say stop worrying. You are beautiful and you never needed anything besides yourself.

And now here's a sneak peek from a shoot I did with the most beautiful young woman, who I'm sure, like the rest of us, has also worried about looking beautiful in photos even though there was absolutely no reason to.

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Love Shoot | Lynnea + Chris + Rory

As a mother's day gift for Lynnea, Chris gave her a family shoot to document their story with their lovely baby Rory. So I thought it would be appropriate to share these photos with you on Father's Day. To be honest, I don't spend a lot of time with babies, but the love and connection between parent and child is truly amazing to see. And why are babies so impossibly cute? They're kind of mesmerizing! We spent a relaxed afternoon playing with Rory and capturing some candid outdoor portraits splashing around in a little pond in Stanley Park. 

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Summer Fruit Inspiration Shoot

Summer fruit is my favourite. My granny used to make canned fruit and we'd sing a little rhyme as we counted the cherry pits. I remember climbing trees on childhood Okanagan vacations to pick peaches straight from the tree. There is nothing like fresh summer fruit, a little bit warm from the sun.... I put together a mini-styled shoot at Stewart Farms styled around summer fruit, canned fruit and a simple afternoon at the farmhouse. The girls from Vancouver Vintage were lovely enough to lend some lovely vintage dishes. Carla Hawksworth styled hair & makeup and Sunflower Florist provided a sweet bouquet for the shoot.

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Love Shoot: Christina + Peter

I don't have enough words for this shoot. Christina and Peter won our Valentines Day Styled Love Shoot Giveaway with Bailey's Brides and MUAHjwn makeup & hair. When I first read their contest entry describing themselves in 3 words, "sexy, passionate and insatiable," I knew they had spunk. When I first met them, I knew they were genuine sweethearts to their very core. And when they shared their joy and love and connection with each other during the love shoot, you guys, it was amazing! Aside from being completely adorable and super-nice, they shared the story of how they fell in love and Bailey and I came up with a shoot to showcase that love. I photographed them near English Bay where Christina and Peter first fell in love as they spent time together staying at a friends apartment and exploring the city when the Vancouver Olympics were in town. We started with a day at the beach and then dressed it up for a romantic night out. Jessica from MUAHjwn really captured Christina's natural beauty with the hair & makeup styling. Bailey from Bailey's Brides provided the sweetest little details for the shoot. And Christina & Peter have an amazing closet that I would really like to borrow a few things from (pretty please?). We managed to squeeze the shoot in right before they took over for Europe to celebrate their graduation!

 

 There were so many amazing entries to this contest, and I wish I could have given away a shoot to everybody, but I'm so happy with the way it went. (Don't worry though, there will be more giveaways in the future)!

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